Wena Poon

On November 2, 2014, Wena Poon will launch her book The Adventures of Snow Fox & Sword Girl at at the Singapore Writers Festival in Singapore. Following is an excerpt from the book:

IMG_5138Cabinet eventually sent Lord Paisley, the Emperor’s cousin, to negotiate with the Royal School of Concubines about their strike. Paisley was a brilliant rhetorician and quite the ladies’ man; they hoped he would settle it quickly.

“Well, is the Emperor going to get rid of Sei Shonagon?” demanded the concubines. They arranged themselves in a long, glittering row before Lord Paisley.

“No.” Paisley chewed gum, which had just been invented.

“Then there’s nothing to discuss, is there?” said the women coldly. “As we said in our petition, either she stays, or we go.”

Paisley very slowly and deliberately blew a large, yellow bubble.

Fwoo –

The ladies glared at him.

Fwoo-oo-OOOO –

POP! “Very well then. Shonagon stays; you go.”

“What!”

“We shall convert the grounds of the Royal School of Concubines into polo fields for training the Royal Cavalry.” Lord Paisley consulted his notes on file. “You won’t get severance, I’m afraid. Counts as voluntary departure.”

“This is a complete outrage! The Royal School of Concubines has produced every Empress for thirty-two generations! Who would emperors marry if we didn’t have RSC? Cinderella?

“Girls, girls, what do you want me to do?” said Paisley indignantly. “We’re at an impasse, and it’s nearly tea time. The whole concept of a strike by concubines is ridiculous. The Emperor doesn’t sleep with you anyway, so even if you withdrew sex, it’s not as if he’d notice.”

“But who would look after His Majesty?”

“We have eunuchs,” replied Paisley boredly. “You have zero leverage.”

The concubines withdrew behind sliding doors to confer.

Snow Fox Book Launch Flyer

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